Thursday, April 24, 2008


With two kids under the age of 3, it's a little difficult to find time to watch movies (well, movies that don't star a talking bear, monkey, or androgynous, fuzzy monster anyway), so "Film School in Three Lines or Less" is a fantastic time saver. My personal favorite is Citizen Kane:

CHARLES FOSTER KANE: I'm dying now. I miss my childhood.

REPORTER: Wealth and power have truly made you an asshole.

WORKER: No one cares if I burn this sled, right?

It's Like "The Village" Only Without the Crappy Ending (oh, wait, this one ends poorly too.)

I must confess I haven't been following the Texas polygamy story too closely (to paraphrase Papa Simpson, I like my beer cold, my tv loud, and my polygamists confined to porn movies set in the not too distant future), but this headline grabbed my attention: "Texas tries to ease polygamist kid's culture shock." Which got me very curious, how much did these kids know about the outside world? I mean, they knew there was an outside world, right? But did they know the details, or just that it was full of processed-food and monogamy? I'd love to see a reality show of these kids in foster care. Cause, really, they're pretty much screwed up already right, what's a little exploitation for my entertainment at this point?

Wednesday, April 23, 2008

Now or Never for Hillary?

I've been struggling to figure out why Hillary remains in the race when it is virtually impossible for her to overtake Obama in elected delegates or popular vote. The only option I could come up with is she's staying in on the chance that some revelation (eg proof that he snorted cocaine off a dead hooker's body in Pittsburgh friday night) completely destroys Obama's campaign. This theory
makes some sense, too.

It's also possible that she's become Apollo Creed, pre-beach hug with Rocky, of course.

You Can't Spell Traumatropism without "T & A"

The simpatico Erin Andrews (that actually is the proper use of simpatico...the things you learn researching boob jokes) is now the official "sideline reporter" for the Scripps Howard National Spelling Bee. This is the best news for the contests since Anurag Kashyap decided not to enter in 2006. Think about it, there is a very good chance that a sideline interview with the comely Andrews is the only time in these contests lives that an attractive woman will talk to them. Well, except for Nicolas S. de Leon, of course. He's a hottie!

We're back, baby!

Allow me a moment to welcome me back.

I just hope that I can reach you kids before that Vice-Principal Woodman gives me the boot for my nutsy cuckoo ways.