Movies

With two kids under the age of 3, it's a little difficult to find time to watch movies (well, movies that don't star a talking bear, monkey, or androgynous, fuzzy monster anyway), so "Film School in Three Lines or Less" is a fantastic time saver. My personal favorite is Citizen Kane:

CHARLES FOSTER KANE: I'm dying now. I miss my childhood.

REPORTER: Wealth and power have truly made you an asshole.

WORKER: No one cares if I burn this sled, right?

It's Like "The Village" Only Without the Crappy Ending (oh, wait, this one ends poorly too.)

I must confess I haven't been following the Texas polygamy story too closely (to paraphrase Papa Simpson, I like my beer cold, my tv loud, and my polygamists confined to porn movies set in the not too distant future), but this headline grabbed my attention: "Texas tries to ease polygamist kid's culture shock." Which got me very curious, how much did these kids know about the outside world? I mean, they knew there was an outside world, right? But did they know the details, or just that it was full of processed-food and monogamy? I'd love to see a reality show of these kids in foster care. Cause, really, they're pretty much screwed up already right, what's a little exploitation for my entertainment at this point?

Now or Never for Hillary?

I've been struggling to figure out why Hillary remains in the race when it is virtually impossible for her to overtake Obama in elected delegates or popular vote. The only option I could come up with is she's staying in on the chance that some revelation (eg proof that he snorted cocaine off a dead hooker's body in Pittsburgh friday night) completely destroys Obama's campaign. This theory
makes some sense, too.


It's also possible that she's become Apollo Creed, pre-beach hug with Rocky, of course.

You Can't Spell Traumatropism without "T & A"

The simpatico Erin Andrews (that actually is the proper use of simpatico...the things you learn researching boob jokes) is now the official "sideline reporter" for the Scripps Howard National Spelling Bee. This is the best news for the contests since Anurag Kashyap decided not to enter in 2006. Think about it, there is a very good chance that a sideline interview with the comely Andrews is the only time in these contests lives that an attractive woman will talk to them. Well, except for Nicolas S. de Leon, of course. He's a hottie!

We're back, baby!

Allow me a moment to welcome me back.



I just hope that I can reach you kids before that Vice-Principal Woodman gives me the boot for my nutsy cuckoo ways.

Big Whiffer!

I did something like this in junior high once. Earned me a nickname that stuck with me through high school. Soccerball misser. Not terribly creative in Alabama.

Battle of the Album Covers

this is pretty well-done.

Jack Killed Mom

Jenny Lewis and the Watson Twins. This is the best recording I've been able to find so far.


Get this video and more at MySpace.com

Where's Mel Gibson now?!?!

Borat

This looks NOT terrible.

Oh-to-to

This may be the most genius "web list" I've ever seen. I mean, genius may be an understatement.

The top 10 unintentionally worst company URLs

Attn: Entrepeneurs
Everyone knows that if you are going to operate a business in today’s world you need a domain name. It is advisable to look at the domain name selected as other see it and not just as you think it looks. Failure to do this may result in situations such as the following (legitimate) companies who deal in everyday humdrum products and services but clearly didn’t give their domain names enough consideration:

1. A site called ‘Who Represents‘ where you can find the name of the agent that represents a celebrity. Their domain name… wait for it… is
www.whorepresents.com

2. Experts Exchange, a knowledge base where programmers can exchange advice and views at
www.expertsexchange.com

3. Looking for a pen? Look no further than Pen Island at
www.penisland.net

4. Need a therapist? Try Therapist Finder at
www.therapistfinder.com

5. Then of course, there’s the Italian Power Generator company…
www.powergenitalia.com

6. And now, we have the Mole Station Native Nursery, based in New South Wales:
www.molestationnursery.com

7. If you’re looking for computer software, there’s always
www.ipanywhere.com

8. Welcome to the First Cumming Methodist Church. Their website is
www.cummingfirst.com

9. Then, of course, there’s these brainless art designers, and their whacky website:
www.speedofart.com

10. Want to holiday in Lake Tahoe? Try their brochure website at
www.gotahoe.com

Censorship

Sweet Caroline

The Italian Stallion!

He's back baby!! No, seriously. I'm not kidding. You can check out the trailer here.

I've just got two things to say.

1. Honestly? The trailer doesn't look half bad. And I appreciate the fact they called it Rocky Balboa, as they to are pretending that Rocky V never happened.

2. If it were my call, I'd just release the below clip on a 90 minute loop. I'd go see it. I mean, does it get any better than this? I don't see how it's possible. Am I the only one who wanted to go run up a snow covered mountain and lift bails of hay and cut timber and scream "No pain! No pain! No pain!" to myself after seeing this? Good times. Rock-y! Rock-y! Rock-y!




EDIT: Ok, I stand corrected. This is better.

Maurice Clarett

And I know you were. Speaking of Maurice Clarett that is. There's so much about this story that I love, it would actually take less time to tell you the things that I don't love.


Ok, there's nothing I don't love. I HIGHLY recommend checking out the EIFL website. I'm so asking for an EIFL football for Christmas.

Relationships

Is it wrong that I wish I had someone to break up with so I could use this - http://www.dabreakupsong.com
In lieu of an actual mate, I've already broken up with myself, Tonya, and Iesha (In trying to come up with names I suddenly thought about that ABC song "Iesha"...hee hee good times).

Caught in the Crossfire

So my sister had not seen this clip of Jon Stewart on Crossfire - so, uh, here it is.

The King and Koizumi

Brief, yet lovely photo-essay of Japanese PM Koizumi paying his respects to the real leader of the free world (hey, 50 million Elvis fans can't be wrong and I'm pretty sure that's more people than voted for Bush in 2000).

The Sports Guys

Yesterday the Sports Guy on Espn.com compiled his list of the best youtube videos ever. How the star wars nerds aren't on there, I'll never no, but there's still great stuff to be seen.

My favorite of the list? The "Whatzupwitu" video, if only because I had completely forgotten it ever happened. Kind of like I've forgotten that I owned Eddie's "Put Your Mouth On Me" album. What, who wrote that? Prank caller, prank caller!

It's funny 'cause it's true

From Thebrushback.com (it's like the Onion for sports):

Reuben Droughns Apologizes To Teammates For Assaulting Wife

CLEVELAND--Running back Reuben Droughns apologized to his Cleveland Browns teammates yesterday for assaulting his wife last month. Droughns promised that it would never happen again and said he was “deeply regretful” about the distraction it caused to the team.
“I just want to say to my teammates and coaches that I’m sorry for assaulting my wife,” said Droughns, who was charged with throwing his wife out the door of their Denver home. “Domestic abuse is a terrible thing because it can cause a lot of distractions for the team. It definitely won’t happen again, no matter how much my wife pisses me off, because I don’t want to get arrested and put the team in the difficult position of having to replace me.”
Droughns has also agreed to appear in a public service announcement in which he educates other football players on the dangers of beating up your wife when you’re the team’s best option at running back.